Hope

Hope is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torment of all men. Of all the characteristics in life, hope is the one that can exhilarate or hugely disappoint.

He lay there wondering if she’d come. They’d had a blazing row last night or was it last night, he thought? He struggled to remember when it was exactly. His eyes were wide open and couldn’t see much. Well, it was cream all around, a beeping noise surround. What was that noise? He could here footsteps walking quickly along the corridors. If only she’d turn up he sighed. He continued to lie on his back and listened to the repetitive beeping noise.

~

Charles had been walking his dog, Turbo, through Hyde Park. Their usual walk nowadays as Charles had been laid off his Accountancy job in the City. He didn’t understand why he’d been laid off, as, really, everyone needs an accountant in their business, so why had “Mr. Bushy” decided to get rid of their accountant of 20 years and prove he’d do it himself. Well, let him! What does he know? Think he’s this new age know-it-all. Well, let him! Damn him! And I’m out of a job. Who wants a boring old accountant?

Turbo huffed and puffed and wagged his tail…give me more…give me more…, excitedly wanting his master to throw the ball. Ever reliable Turbo to meet and greet him when he returned home, it broke his heart leaving his ever faithful dog alone in their flat day in day out whilst he routinely went to work.

~

As he continued to lie on his back with the cream surrounding his existence he tried to re-capture the memory of recent events, especially of why he is in here.

~

So many unanswered questions he was really struggling with the answers. So many events happened for him to hope that he was still on the right track.

~

Although he’d known the company, Ringworths Chartered Surveyors has asked for voluntary redundancies, he hadn’t expected they’d be serious to go further after that announcement to lay off more people.

~

The door opened into the cream room, he tried to lift his head, wanting, waiting, to see if was her. Oooo, the pain! In quickly walked a nurse with a clipboard.

“You’re awake,” she smiled, professionally.

He groaned as the pain seared through his head.

“Doctor Waite will be in shortly to talk to you, and you’ve had a letter.” She opened a white envelope and placed the letter, A5 size, into his hand. He grasped as he noticed her name badge.

“Thanks,” he mumbled with gratitude.

He wasn’t going anywhere as it took him a long time to focus on the elegant handwriting afore him.

           My dearest Charles,

So long I have waited for you to say those words to me. But I don’t know if there were just too late. I always knew you were the man for me, although you didn’t believe it yourself. Something changed in you and I didn’t really believe what you said to me was real. You seemed distracted, like as through you wanted to say something and through those three words would shut me up instead.

I wish you well with your recovery.

I have gone away for a while to think about all of this.

Your loving Melody

It was like a stab in the heard to think that Melody had gone away. Was it forever? Will she be back? He tried hard to remember why he is here. Where’s Turbo? Panic struck him like lightening. Who was looking after him? Oh Turbo, I’m so sorry, are you ok, Turbo, he silently through sinking deeper into sadness. Oh Turbo! He had no family to take care of him. His neighbours were a funny lot.

The door opened and in walked a suited man, who Charles presumed was Doctor Waite.

~

Nearing the end of his walk he couldn’t help but feel glum about the world. What a blow it had been to receive his letter of redundancy for his “commitment to the firm” and how “they’d grown together”, with “great sadness” from the M.D. that the recession had forced the company to downsize and lay off a “considerable amount of employees,” blah blah blah! Charles struggled to take it all in and buckled underneath he sheer wright of being in his forties, and no longer employed. What was he to do next? Accountancy had been all he’d ever done. He’d joined fresh out of university after a summer placement, completing with a First Class Honours Degree. His parents had died shortly after their celebrations in a car crash. Ringworths had been a caring company then and sown great compassion. Not now, the big dogs from America had bulldozed their way in and…Bang! Blackness!

~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“Quite a nasty hit you’d taken Mr. Dalman,” said the doctor.

All Charles could do was stare at him, his memory still now getting clearer.

“The car hit you straight on and you’d been thrown a long way. Very lucky there was a nurse passing and been able to make you comfortable whilst a passer by had called for an ambulance. Without here you’d have been more serious.” Charles lay still unable to take in the events. Not remembering a thing as the doctor talked in his soothing voice.

He thought…walk…car…accident…ambulance…the worlds were sinking in.

~

He knew he loved Melody but he felt she’d wanted more from him. After all, he’d gotten such a great degree, how could he tell her he’d been made redundant. She desperately wanted to settle down to a family. How could he tell her? He’d had savings, but with no income to continue his support how would she take the news?

~

And now, he’d lost Melody forever. She’d gone and left him.

“Right then Mr. Dalman, I’ll keep popping in to aide your recovery. Anything you need?”

“No”, he muttered.

With that Doctor Waite left and in walked Melody with Turbo.